First, this is NOT an April Fools joke. A female writer-friend of mine posted on her Facebook page this evening (April 1) that her boyfriend talked her into renting some horror movie called Paranormal Activity 2, and that she's scared already. (I would be too, because apparently the producers saw fit to do a sequel. Bad sign.)
That's because her boyfriend is doing a stupid thing. Instead of being a gentleman, her boyfriend is being...
.. a guy.
Guys do stupid things because most guys are stupid. Guys rent stupid movies that give their girlfriends nightmares later on. Guys ask, "How long should I boil the meatloaf?" Guys ask, "How long should I nuke the turkey?" Instead of taking their girlfriends to dinner, guys take them to some stupid bar, or a bowling alley, and then order the tamale pizza. Or, sausage-horseradish sauce-and-guacamole tacos. With beer.
On my first date with my now-ex-wife, I was trying to be a gentleman. I brought the movie The Princess Bride to her dorm room for us to watch. Our first date out was to hear the Minnesota Orchestra perform The Planets by Gustav Holst, in part because I am a musician and I wanted to hear it live. Our second date out was to see the outstanding IMAX film Destiny In Space at the Science Museum of Minnesota's awesome Omnitheater.
Of course, it later turned out that she hates classical music, cares more about shopping than watching an impressive film on a dome-screen, and wanted to be her mother's daughter more than she wanted to be married to me. I lost, big-time, and I'm still paying for my best intentions.
So, perhaps in trying to just be the normal gentleman my parents raised me to be, it turns out that I *might* just be... a guy, after all.
One final question: How long should I fry the linguine?
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